somebody's meee!!!

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
'Cause I, I walk the streets alone
I hate bein' on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you
every single night
Somebody can't breath
without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That Somebody's Me

How, how could we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our
paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost
Cause you're always right
here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you
every single night
Somebody can't breath
without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That Somebody's Me
Ohh ya

You'll always be in my life
Even if I'm not in your life
Because you're in my memory
You,when you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh listen please

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you
every single night
Somebody can't breath
without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That Somebody's Me!!!!!!

thank you Enrique...i stole your lyrics 'coz u stole my thoughts.

Thank you...

i wanted to thank my childhood buddy Ravi Kiran for wishing me on a really very special day and making it more wonderful, infact he was the only person who wished me. i was celebrating that day all alone and it's my innate happiness. i was afraid if i tell ppl that i wanna celebrate that day and ppl might mistake me. so i dint reveal it. but my frn ravi knows me and he wished me. weneva i see the sms i feel so glad n merry. i see that msg to b glad n merry. \m/
Thank You Ravi...Thank you so much for wishing me on Children's Day. u really made me feel happy. I'll keep the msg as long as i can.

alt

tell me,...for everything we have alternatives? i dunno the exact answer n i'm not sure whether i'll b able 2 find ans for it.. but yes for many things there are alternatives. at times i find the alternatives as more interesting than the real ones. for example communication. wot r the alternative means of communication apart from our regular verbal communication? sign language, body lang, gestures, facial expressions, written, etc etc.

out of ll these i find sign language to b more interesting. there are different sign languages that vary from place-to-place. wen i was doing my post graduation at vizag, i've learnt communicating in sign lang using both hands. here i've learnt to form a-z alphabet using either single/ both the hands. it's great. i taught this to few of my frns. i used this as a technique to help my frns from slipping their tongues while spking to strangers , teachers etc.
recently i've started learning ASL= American Sign Language and i thoroughly enjoy using it.
the specialty of ASL is we use only 1 hand n u know it's universal. at NIHH(national institute for the hearing handicapped) ,(note we r not supposed to call them as deaf n dumb but hearing n speech impaired) i found many hyderabadis using ASL for communication.
i found it difficult to communicate in sign lang using spellings at an ashram(i spoke abt it in one of my first few posts) becoz the children over there dunno English lang n so it was difficult. still i cud use spellings in asking for a particular child by forming name. \m/
if we learn it, we'll b able to help ourselves n our frns n sometimes even help children/adults with hearing and speech impairments for an effective communication.
am providing links. readers who are interested can follow or u can simply ignore.
(click on ASL) ASL .

thanks to Christmas holidays..for i got some time to finish off my pending projects n blogs.
Happy Christmas n happy holidays.
cya

enough yaar...

i'm dying 4 my college to re-open asap, so that i can focus on studies, my goals n on my life.
i'm habituated to more work and stress. in one of my previous post...confessions of workoholic...u must have understood how i used to work. like that even now am being put under stress. i was actually enjoying that work pressure...(when pain is inevitable..enjoi it).
but now u see becoz of this Telangan-Andhra clashes we(students) have been enjoying holidays since 4th dec. aah! enough yaar. how many more days..? and becoz of these holidays my final exams have been postponed to MAY-2010 from APRIL-2010. buhuhuhu..
becoz of these clashes there is so much of loss 2 the govt, mango ppl(aam janta) and many more.
T-A clashes n ppl...enough yaar!

macho (wo)MEN \m/

i'm afraid in future our cine industry becomes female dominated. the heroin based movies. herion will be the hero. lols :P

i remember the movie 'jamba lakadi pomba' in telugu..wer the heroin feels jealous of the male dominated society and goes to a sage, takes some green tonic (appears like pudin hara :P..watchout) mixes in tank water and from hen all men start acting like women and vice versa. it's a film with too much of humor. well y am i talking abt that film here??? huh.. i hardly read news paper..i mostly watch it :P. wen i was looking thru the news paper i've accidentally found a futo of a heroin that was absolutely stunning n made me speechless. i'm actually falling short of words to describe how i felt wen i saw her. then immediately the picture of one of the famous c-character popped up in my mind. this heroin was initially my fav wen she had a real gud physique. but now she looks abnormal after putting on weight. in the list of this type of heroins..first stands sameera reddy. am sorry..but some how i cant stand woman with lots of muscles n biceps. scary thought..wen i see them in reality it's horrible. yikes.
i hate u macho women!!!

talked when we walked...

this post is in continuation to my previous post talk wen u walk. as u see here in the tagged post there are no comments/feedback/ replies/queries- i was lil upset that no1 has turned up to join me for the walkathon. i decided that i would go alone. kmao! i was so lazy and i eventually forgot to register myself to participate in the walk. the walk was scheduled to be at 7 am of sunday 13th december-09, and i remembered of registration on saturday 12th december-09 at 11pm. i felt that i seriously deserved a big kick. that night my bf(=best frn lol :P, am happy n proud to b stil single) vamsi called me up promising me that he wud like to take me to an early morning ride werever i wanted, since i was asking him for it for a really long time. i said ok. but i had absolutely no hopes that he'd turn up in the morning 'coz he's so gud in managing time. he promised me that he'll be at my place by 5am n i was so confident that he'll be at my place by sharp 8am. by the time v said gudnyt to each other it was almost 2.15am. he needs 8hrs sleep at any cost. so my confidence levels were becoming stronger n stronger. i slep at 3am after doing some imp work online. i planned to getup sometime at around 11am peacefully n i slept.

at around 4:55am i felt as if my mobile was ringing n i woke up to put it on silent mode so that my sis wont get disturbed. as i took my mobile in my hands n opened my eyes i suddenly got an incoming call. vamsi was calling. omg. unbelievable. i thought he'd say that he had no energy to go for the ride n i answered the call. he said that he'll b at my place in 10 mins n cut the line. omg i had to literally rush n was acting like a film that was put on fast fwd. (lols.) he was at my place by 5:05am. i went down n to my surprise he was really there. omg. i took sometime to clear my doubts n confusions whether it's reality/ my illusion. then we started off n were looking for a right place to watch the sunrise. we wandered here n there, had a cup of tea and nice conversations-most of them are funny and few are really crap...yet i enjoyed each n every bit of it. finally we're like 'hands up', there's no place in this big city that is full of tall buildings wer i can see sunrise peacefully n capture it in my super-duper, extra-ordinary lens(it has got so many fans n admirers)n preserve it as a token of memory. i was lil upset again. then he said that he'll take me to the walkathon. i couldnt actually believe my ears. i said ok. we had no petrol in the bike(aah very very lil, not sure whether we'll b able to reach to the petrol bunk), no petrol bunk in the vicinity, and no cash in the pockets (for petrol n to register for walkathon). but this guy ..he was carrying cards! i had no clue wot's gonna happen next. as we started off in search of a petrol bunk... we found an ATM n a petrol bunk on our way. happy! 2 problems solved. and as we started off towards necklace road at a point we could accidentally see the sunrise and it was awesome and unexpected. i loved it to the core. see! one more wish fulfilled. it was almost 6:55am and the scheduled time for the walk was almost nearing and we're really far off from the venue. i thought yet again 'sans is gone case'.
as we reached necklace road it appeared as a no-man road. it was dead silent but too cool. we rode from imax circle till ohri's 70mm and in the meanwhile wot was going in my mind, u shd know. i was feeling bad abt all those ppl who were participating in the rallies and badhs for seperate state and all that. ppl go for such issues and never turn-up for walkathon being conducted for a noble cause. i was even feeling bad about college going students and all those young junta who gather in huge crowds for big events like music/ dance shows given by celebrities. i was only assuming that the walkathon was cancelled and we ad to go back. again upset. cha.
as we crossed ohri's 70mm we saw balloons, banners, and few more ppl walking in n out of jalvihar's parking lot. i was shocked to see volunteers of ashayein-foundation wearing t-shirts n caps, spot registration counters and all that stuff. i couldn't believe my eyes. we stopped n enquired if it was AF's walkathon's spot registration counter. omg. yes it was. we registered. u know wot.. at that moment, i was not on ground state. i was feeling so great about my friend vamsi, who sacrificed his sleep n time just for my sake n to accomplish my wishes b4 he leaves for delhi(he's a 6'2" tall, handsome guy n he suddenly appeared 12'4" tall for an instance:P) . we registered n were waiting for the inauguration. it was a fantastic start 'coz the speech given by hon'ble JP was so. he's a grt man. his spirits are infectious. i admire him a lot. finally we started off. we had a really great time together. while walking n talking we've realised so many things happening around and within. hahhaa, we realised that we're getting tired becoz we dint have brkfast and burning our energy while walking. hunger pangs were on. thanks to AF for supplying water bottles that helped me keep my body n soul together. i became so weak by the time we reached back. walk was so happy, pleasant, meaningful n cheerful 'coz the volunteers have started singing my fav song that i used in my previous school with the kids.
i was thinking of my friend sugeetha who desperately wanted to walk but badly missed it 'coz of some exams. during the walk we realised that our fav hangout-necklace road looks most beautiful in the mornings than in the evenings. it was looking absolutely new n unbelievably awesome.
thank god...i had a really great time. nooo! actually i shd thank vamsi for making my impossible wishes to possible memories. he's adorable.\m/

thats al 4 now. c u soon.

thank gaaawd...

u know wot....i often remember the short story "god sees the truth but waits" by leo tolstoy. sometimes i feel that god waits for too long and disappoints many. but in my case he waits but acts at right moment.

yesterday evening i was dying of severe migraine, temper tantrums, depressions and many more unwanted and irritating emotions. thanks a lot to my lovely sis swats who tried her best to keep me engaged in some or the other small works at home. my friend trin.. came home to cheer me n my sis planned for a movie. but i dint go the movie as i wanted to keep myself away from sounds n lights. i was feeling much better n my sis noticed that n went away with trin....and am home alone then.
i was alright for sometime. then suddenly so many images came in to my mind. the way i used to freak out with my friends, long drives, gossips etc.
i was thinking of ammu my best friend whom i met during my graduation. she's married n left for delhi. i was thinking of ro, sah.., whom i met during my post graduation n those sweet lovely times spent together. these 2 gals are married n r now living in US. i was thinking of FB my colleague at parkwood school..we're grt friends n had grt time in really very short period. now FB is also married. & now Vamsi my best friend n my happiness has left for delhi(still unmarried.. :P). with whomever am becoming close n finding myself really comfortable, safe n happy..they're leaving me n going. i was feeling extremely low n miserable. highly depressed. at this time i dint even think of god.
no1 is at home. i was losing control over myself n becoming week n felt vertigo. i thought i shd go online so that i can chat with frns n keep myself active n away from depressions. i was feeling damn week, unable to type my username n password also, but somehow, i managed to. i found none of my best &/or good friends online n hence, rested my head on the pillow to stare at the roof. suddenly i heard the ping sound. i turned my head to the lappy n saw it was sahi.., amazing. i dint tell her abt my condition. she wanted to have a voice chat with me, but unfortunately the lappy's speakers went out of condition. i felt bad. wth. another ping...i was really surprised n felt so happy to see 'ro'. waah! 2 of my best friends are online (that too wen i needed them badly). i told ro to wait for a moment so that i can go, look for my headfones. i had no energy yrt tried my best to get up n go the corner of my room n to find the headfones completely entangled...the sight of which made me feel more weaker. i then heard my mobile ringing, i left the headfones, went to my mobile. i went to it to wear a grt smile. wow! it's 'ro' calling me from USA. it was a couple of months i dint speak to her n was dying to talk to her. i answered the call with lots of happiness. the sight of her name on my mobile has given me lil energy, after listening to her voice i felt much better. thanks to 'ro' n for brilliant ideas. she's put me n sah.. on tele-conference. i felt wot has happened to my fate.. all of a sudden. i spoke to my best pals all at a time,n for hours 2gether. i could see them on webcam also. thanks to the technology thanks to ro. after speaking to them i felt quite normal.thanks to swats, trin, ro and sah who worked as medicines n made me feel better. i love u all. n vamsi i'm still missing u miserably.
also i thank 'god' u dint wait for a long time r else...i'm afraid even to imagine wot wud have happened to me, if u'd taken more time. u r smart but slow. :P

i'm a slow learner

It was psychology class, that too after lunch(u got the whole picture, right??).... most of the faces were sleepy, some trying hard to respond to my lecturers questions n I was trying not to respond/ans so that the class can be ended abruptly n then even i can join the sleeping community.

the lecture was about 'growth n development'. sir was trying his best to keep us all awake n active by making it interactive. he asked us a question...."we know that animals, wen they give birth, the new borns immediately stand, try to walk n within no time they start playing; whereas we human beings take a lot of time...say about an year/ two to perform same kinda activities. why do you think it is like that in animals n the other way in humans?". there was no response as many were fast asleep n others were unwilling to answer as they really dunno the answer and rest(including me) kept quite as we're almost at the threshold of the dreamworld.
he repeated the question. there was no real change in the students behavior, he asked again in a different tone....stressing on "why??tell me why??"
at that moment sans was almost getting into trans state and his question..for the 1st two-times sounded like a lullaby and accelerated me to fall asleep. the sudden change in the tone disturbed n caused us a great irritation n to my surprise every1 opened their eyes and suddenly turned their heads towards me as if that stupid question was for me. i hate wen ppl stare at me n i thought i shd answer this to as to avoid that highly irritating situation. i cleared my throat and with wide open eyes, lots of emotion in the tone(preparing myself to be thrashed out of the class for i was sure that ppl wud definitely mistake me) i answered "because we're slow learners!!!"
as expected...my sir responded.. "what??". I replied by reducing the volume but with same tone n innocent face..."yes sir, it's because we human beings are slow learners!!".
oh my gosh. guys over there!!expect the unexpected!!!
i was startled to learn that the whole class including my sir started laughing and clapping. my sir said "it's a really gud1".
gud answer/ gud joke? lol. :P
howeva, at that moment i was feeling gud becoz i was not thrashed out of the class, ppl received it positively, no1 has mistaken me and everyone woke up with a smile that turned out to be a long lasting laughter. i again dint like ppl staring at me while laughing and clapping. it caused me a lil bit of uneasiness and i turned my eyes towards the bench with a genuine smile.
sir was actually happy that evryone in the class woke up n he continued the class and was writing on the board. he knew that i was looking at him(dese days i'm sitting in the first bench..ya ya out of my policy..but circumstances are like that), suddenly he turned to me n said "yeah, you are absolutely right, we are all slow learners".
at that moment guess what must me going in my mind?? :P "kudos sans!" \m/

1 in 2

sometimes wen i closely observe my friends, teachers, family members and even strangers i feel how come i feel the same as the opposite person does...

i used to have gud friend. i used to feel that '1 soul 2 bodies' and used to call him my soul-mate. ..huh but lately i realised that i was wrong. now i dont have that feeling for him nor that friend. i was wrong.

i used to feel '1 mind 2 brains' weneva i used to see a classmate of mine who's equally steadfast in working out problems/ given tasks. now am not in contact with that gal.

i used to feel and i still have the same feeling for my friend (whose name i don't want to disclose here) that we have '1 spirit 2 lives'.

i was just going thru a blog of another friend, wer she has written her feelings and wot she wud do if she's given 24hrs time b4 death n all that...and she has listed there almost all of my feelings. i was only wondering if all the gals feel the same or only my feelings match with hers was a mere coincidence...now wots the 1 in 2 here. '1 feeling,2 bloggers'{..pj lol.}

but all these 1 in 2's are just co incidences and they last only for certain amount of time and they keep on changing. they change as we grow n develop. growth and development are optional. it depends from person to person. wot say?

wen i was writing the 1st few lines of this post, i remembered what i wanted to write few days back but havent yet written. and am not going to write it anymore because i changed my mind. i wanted to write on '1ego 2ppl'. but i dont have the ego. i broke it. it's only 1 ego and and 1 person. lol.

aah..chalo enuf of my bakwaas. gottu go for lunch.
cya. bi.

PS: can any1 temme... wer's/wots meant by... '1 body 2 lives'?

2012 @ sans

heavy rains @ twin planets called my eyes.
thunderstorms @ revolutionary centre called my head
active volcanoes @ paradise called my heart
poisoned bullets @ every cell of my body...

feeling the 2012 effect within...
I FEAR IF SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN TO MY INNER CHILD WHO IS ALMOST KILLED AND IS STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE....
living with just a hope that i can handle myself (though difficult), survive @ any crisis and adopting more patience and bravery.
craving for the utmost 'INNER PEACE'....

ps: comments option disabled.

talk when u walk

the tal guy abhishek bacchan promotes the cause 'walk wen u talk' in the idea mobile services ad..this tall gal sans is promoting the cause 'talk wen u walk'. yeah here is a chance to talk of few gud things to do n while we r doing. here is a chance to walk for a noble cause. click on WALK for more details.
thanks to my friend sugeetha for mailing me this link and making my day start with a gud cause n its promotion.
i see my blog is silent these days. no readers/ followers are around. yet am posting this with a small hope that some1 from hyd, accidentally reads this posts and finds it informative n useful.

thnaks a bunch.
see u around.....

alright

it's now all right. yeah. i got my blog right in my hands now. i'll no more bug my readers with sorrow filled posts.
u will see only happy posts henceforth.
cya.

alwrite

am not feeling alright. am missing my secret blog. its such bugging procedure to start a new blog again. duh. it's not alright to write everything here. this is public. i need privacy to write all that i want. wanna just say u honey... I MISS U so much. will MISS U badly.

gods must be crazy...

When v r to travel long distances in an overcrowded bus, v find it painful; imagine there's a traffic jam / flat tire, v feel that v shd b home as early as possible, the situations appears to be pathetic. this happens once/ twice/only few times for most of us.

if this kinda situation arises in a journey called friendship, how will it be? miserable and awful right? this kinda things are 'happenings' of my life in the recent past. wen everything seems to be cool n pleasant wen i was thinking of all my (girl) friends who are now married and wen i was feeling thankful for my (boy) friends for being boys for being left out as singles...this guy..i mean this good seems to be very crazy to play video games with my life. i think he's trying to tell me that he can seperate me from my friends no matter it's a boy/gal. lol.

in one of my previous posts i was talking about my frns of whom vamsi happens to be closest of all. i've never explained or told him how much important he's to me and what grt role he's played in my life. am not sure if he knows it or not. i just cant express my gratitude n love(i used this word with an intention to explain how much affection i've but not talking of the love that leads to marriage or other stuff that i hate) for him in words. ishd sy that only he knows maximum abt me. nearly 95%.(u see am keeping secrets, these days).

i always feel very proud of our friendship coz the understanding v have is the BEST. till now the journey was really SAFE, extremely comfortable and cool.

i was thanking god for giving him some time, as he's the only person who's sparing time from all of my busiest best friends.

now there is twist in the story. this crazy god can't see me really happy hanging around. he's now given a really good opportunity for my dearest friend at Delhi. so he's moving there in a couple of weeks. i dont understand whether i've to feel happy for him and for his growth in his career or feel bad for v r getting apart. the thought of vamsi leaving me, my gang n hyd itself is killing. i dunno how am i going to act n react in the next few days n in the near future. but it's a terrible moment for me. my mind is full of random memories n thoughts. it was full of migraine head ache till the moment i got this news. but this news is more painful. it pains not just in the head but also somewer deep in my heart that cant be healed by any medicine. i hate to go with the old saying 'only time will heal problems'..huh.so abstract.

woteva... i remember my mummy's golden words. 'woteva happens, happens for a good reason and v have to look for the goodness in it.' so i shd see the way my frn is growing up in his cereer and welcome the change and accept the fate as it comes.
now that i've got enough unfair twists .. ithink i shd get habituated to these twists and dust off with the crazy god's attitudes and go on.
hmmmmmm. lemme take a deeep breathe.......


awww. am now feeling much better after writing this. am sure there'll be many grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. i dont want to go back and read woteva i've written. let it be like that and let me enjoy this moment of change. wen pain is inevitable, enjoy it.

u ppl pls take care. i'll see u again.
loads of love
sans.

you cant escape my love..

(You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love)

Here's how it goes, you and me, up and down at this time
We'll get right, where to fight
Cause love is something you can't shake
When it breaks
All it takes is some trying

If you feel like leaving
I'm not gonna make you stay
Soon you'll be finding
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love

So if you go
You should know
It's hard to just forget the past to pass
It was good, it was bad but it was real
And that's all you get in the end of the matter

Here's how it goes
All it takes is some trying
You can run, you can hide
But you can't escape my love

PS: no comments. i just copy pasted the lyrics coz i'm listening to this song right now n love the lyrics..
thnks to enrique

BrainstorM is for lifetime...???!!!!

Children learn by imitation and adults unlearn by impressions. I've learnt this at many instances in this small journey called my life. there are really equal number of bitter memories n happiest ones. but the impact of the bitter ones dominate the happy n sweet memories.

have u ever heard of ABC?? ABC in psychology i mean. i dunno how many of my readers have psychology bkg..but every one should know abt it. ABC= Antecedent->Behavior->Consequence. i hope u got a rough pic from this flow diagram. The universal fact is that every behavior has an antecedent n consequence. there lies a great curiosity n importance to know the antecedents of any1s behavior (be it others/ 1s own). i just wonder how many of us look for antecedents of unfavorable or aversive behavior of ours/ other? there will be a great psychologist in every one of us whom v neva realize n use properly. a fraction of second all it takes to think before we act/ behave. 'our behavior not just reflects us..it creates an impression on others mind too'. many ignorant minds n rebellion attitudes just don't bother about any of these 2 above mentioned partners of behaviors. so as a consequence they end up with least number of happy memories n maximum number of enemies n bitter memories.

of late i've been watching this type of freaks. they neva know how they behave. wen told they cant digest. neither they realize nor they can accept suggestions / bare truths about them. frustration and its sister emotions called irritation n depressions become their ultimatum. pitiable souls / pathetic lives? wot to say? and they funniest part about these ppl is they talk n gossip about others behavior.

now why am i talking about all these crappy nuisance ppl..? it's because as i told in my earlier posts that there is a child in everyone of us...i fear ppl who watch them/live with them will also become so by imitating them unknowingly.sob sob.
another important point to be noted is impressions. everyone of use crave for being praised for our acheivements, hard work, efforts, ideas n so on. when u put all of these in ur work 100% n even more than this percent yet if your behavior is not satisfactory/appealing/convincing/pleasing. all the above mentioned +ve side of yours will directly be thrown in to a dustbin/ garbage. \m/kudos. wot say?

wish i find a poster of this type to do BM (behavior modification) for some 'mentally ill' adults. :P lol.

haa. enuf of psychology class n brainstorm. may be i couldn't explain it well here... but my psycho sir..as we call him with love, taught us this 'bare fact' in a fantabulous way. i just love it. hope u all had a happy weekend. have a nice week ahead.

gud luck n pls take care.

time to brk up

Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

I am wasted away,
I made a million mistakes.
Am I too late?
There is a storm in my head;
Naaa Na Na na, Nannaa na na naa.........

buhuhooo.. sob sob.
I've lost so much of wealth n so interest ultimately.
hmmm...yeah..btw am am talking about my farm @ facebook.
today morning by mistake i've clicked on a wrong button n lost 30,000 coins. i was saving money to buy a tractor and slowly expand farm. but this new storage application bugged me to the core. there is no cancel option. here. so i've no choice. i had lost huge amount. i got pissed off and so took a wild resolution. hey hold on. i'm not swearing to stop playing fv. i've sold all the material i had and ploughed the land completely. now i ve only living things and my fav bike on my farm i've cleared rest all crap.

so sick....

am so sick..i dont medicines wen am not well n i pray god that i recover soon. so dumb huh? but 1 grt thing i attain by doing this is lots of patience and 1 grt thing that i lose is time. today am feeling pathetic. am down with high fever n severe body pains with few more extra bonanza offers like running nose, mild headache, watery eyes and loose grip. i tried sleeping in the evening but cudn't fall asleep because i have to submit many things tomorrow. am sure this fever will come down in case i don't finish the work. if i finish the work then it will not leading to disappointment.
I'm so confused at this moment am feeling so bad n lonely...my sissy went to vizag..i have no choice..i have to stay back in the hostel. buhuhu.. i'm feeling like pathetic. i need some hugs...

I think it's the toughest jobbbb...

i think it's really very tough to keep a secret. how many of u can keep secret?? i always share atleast with any one of my friends. recently i've realized something and thought that i should keep it to myself and not to share it with any of my closest pals. few of them are trying to guess but are failing. lol. there's psychic fun in telling frns and asking them to make guesses and not revealing it. i know am bad in this regard...
huh believe me...it's real tough situation that am facing to keep it to myself. i thought i'll post it in my secret blog. damn it i forgot the password and unable to trace it. it just skipped out of my mind because i'vent used/posted for a long time. buhuhu...:((
I'll see for how long i can keep it..
planning to keep it for life time..hmm gud news is it's slowly sinking it to me..
:P :P

A New Channel 2 Find Happiness..!!$$$!!

Emotions are so exhausting!! I dunno about others..sometimes I can't express many of my feelings and emotions to few friends fearing if i'll lose them. it's only my assumption. i know they'll never leave me...they accept me the way i'm. but still there is sothing in the corner of my heart and mind that keeps me pulling me back n warns me ..'hey hello..watch out..'. aaah.
When this type of things happen i feel bad and ask myself 'why me??'. then suddenly i remember there are few other ppl to cheer me up. my new students. yeah..I was recently given 4 new children with learning disabilities and slow learners and 2 new children with mental retardation. i've already started teaching these 4 ld & sl kids. they are such lovely n cute chutkus. their age range is 9-15. the 15 yrs young boy doing 9th reminds me of my ex-student in many ways. they are in no way comparison with each other. one is extremely soft and cheerful and the other is extremely lovable and adorable. but the intimacy i've built with my ex-student..i'm unable to build this time because of various reasons like time, space, vagera vagera.
it's good that i've really studied a lil bit for my exams and able to apply it during my practicals and may be this simple logic n secret is making stand at 1st position in my class and makes me feel proud of myself and my students. i dunno whether my students ever realize that're really lucky to get sans as their special educator/ teacher. they've got the best. i'm doing my best and am getting the same result. hmmm i'm lovin it. the sad part about this is my practical classes are about to get over in a week. i'll miss them. we have practical only from tue-friday. these children make very sad faces on friday's as they wont be able to see me n attend my classes till tuesday. even i feel same for them. unknowingly i think i'm creating attchment with them. i've learnt a lesson from my past teaching experience that i shdn't become so close and create so much of intimacy with students. it's so painful to leave them and to move on. the memories r really killingly painful. well..coming back to present...sans is really enjoying this teaching-learning practice to the best and getting same results. i wish i get some more time to do some more efforts to go beyond lil best if possible..
hehehehe lil greedy huh"?????

see you again..tc..enjoying blogging.

my latest crush

hehehe....i'm feeling very shy n strange. i like it n i don't. totally confused.
few things are making go crazy dese days are listed below...note:not all :P(so in case if u've any guesses/expectations u may not find them here... :p)

1. farmville on facebook...
2. 4 songs on my music xpress.
3. few blogs..of mine n others..i'm reading again n again
4. party mood..:P
5. my new students...
6. going for drives
7. few songs lyrics. this one..am feeling so strange...u know i hate reading..but am reading few songs lyrics like mad
8. n many more.... :P
ishh gup chup.

PS:i know this is something dumb...but still am posting.

spendin some time for n wid u...

i dont understand sometimes i become so sick and feel too damn lonely..that moment time n life seem to be absolutely sucking. i hate it.
i was thinking that most of my best friends (girls) are married and one is about to get married.
Amritha, Rohini, and now Sahithi.
thanks to Sugeetha's and my parents for sparing us with some more sucking time than........(content supressed)......

I was seriously thinking that all those who are married are away from me now then how can i spend time with them.
then i suddenly remembered this pending tag.
this tag is done in the name of ro(i promised her long back) asuming that i'm telling her and for her.

RULES: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

1.What is your current obsession? FRIENDS

2. What are you wearing today? Night dress.

3. What’s for dinner? Should as hostel mess in-charge. i don't have any clue. :(

4. What’s the last thing you bought? hmmm..on diwali: flowers to decorate rangoli. :P

5. What are you listening to right now? My Inner Voice

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you? Friends Forever :)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? Opposite to any beach n beside all my friends houses. \m/

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer? Sound sleep, non-stop electric power, cool n uncrowded places to hangout in the evenings. :P

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? 1. delhi..to see amrita, 2. vizag to see kids at santhi ashram, 3. dreamland to see my db.

10. Which language do you want to learn? american sign language, tamil n arabic

11. What’s your favourite quote? Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. ~Rabindranath Tagore

12. Who do you want to meet right now? vamsi..he told me that he wanna reveal a secret....hoo am so excited. he left me clueless..but it seems it's very funny. waiting eagerly for the evening to come soon. :P

13. What is your favourite colour? PINK

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet? a new pink and white satin top that i bought casually at globus turned out be my hottest clothing. i wear it almmost 3-4 times a week. heights of craziness??

15. What is your dream job? Dream job means the job we do in our dreams??hahha gud1. i like it. simple..romance with db. if in reality.. it's being a special educator.

16. What’s your favourite magazine? dumb q. i hate reading. so no place for magazines in my life.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? 1. would like to buy membership at Dyslexia association of andhra pradesh(DAAP), 2. nice handbag, cool capries, stylish n trendy anklets...hey i think the obvious answer will be Accessories and clothing.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas? :( i dunno.

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon? too many to list. eg., bipasha basu,

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer? I recently got my hair permanent straightening. lol it turned out t be a disaster. but i'm comfortable in this.

21. What are you going to do after this? get ready n go out with frns.

22. Who is your favourite sport star? what? lol. :P no1.

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without? 1.local made surma, that i bought at charminar. 2. kajal stick gifted by a pakistani frn of my sis. 3. peach coloured n flavoured lip gloss.

24. What inspires you? realism n practicality.

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you: 1. always wear a smile. smile should reflect from your eyes as well. 3. attitude n body language count more than wot u wear. \m/ bindaas.
26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)? continue to wear wot i wore that moment...i dont swaet at all. so no problems. lucky me.

27. Coffee or tea? Tea. tEa teA. teteteeeee

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed? 1. lock n cry inside the washroom. 2. wash face come out. 3. switch on music, eat n then call some friend.

29. What is the meaning of your name? Peace. ppl say it's a misnomer for me.

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting? All those that I follow. ..

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet? all sweets except mosore pak. all i cecreams.

32. Favorite Season? winters. :P

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me? just 2 minutes... maggie noodles.

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you? just give them away back properly in the public. show ur attitude that they havent ever seen/ heard of before.

35. What do you love most about yourself? patience, innocence, kiddish yet high levels of maturity. my attitude.

36. what is that you think most about? i mostly think about my career.

i am supposed to add a question. hmm.. my question being

37. why is this tag so lengthy? :P

huh....at last..finished baba. this is a cool tag. thnx 2 ro. it was like talking to u while answering this tag. had a nice time.
see you all soon.

i'm tagging:swats,
cs,
arpita,
ab,
swat
sugandha
ekam
pulkit

aah. this tagging part took really very long time. done!!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. ~William Blake
(source)
I just love u ....Vamsi,Trinath,Sugeetha and Pavan.
Festivals are like most awaited days for many. i don't wait for them. for me every moment with these guys is a well celebrated festival. When a real festival celebrated with real friends is just beyond heavens.
This diwali... celebrating with my friends was something that i really dint expect and/or plan for. but it turned out to be a sweetest n pleasant unexpected surprise cum memory. this great feeling of mine can't be expressed in words..as am falling short of words. even my grandiloquent friends chaitu and ro would fall short of words if i ask them for.

dese days because of work pressure am finding very lil time to spend with my frns. though am in regular touch with them over fones..it makes grt difference to meet them and talk to them than talking over fones.
thanks to my college for giving me a week time to freakout with my frns. holidays are just so important and they just disappear in no time. it's ok.. it has left me with an ocean full of sweet memories.
i feel my friends are like ideal family members. the understandings we have, the way we celebrate, freak out, plan, share,taking time, deal things is just awesome. thank god..for creating such lovely relations."unconditional".

I can sacrifice anything for them.
this diwali morning i wasn't reaaly feeling welll. had no mood n spirit to celebrate. i met vamsi in the evening. we went to meet trinath. it was just a random thought of celebrating together. in no time all the gang members met and .......

oh god i dont understand wer from i got so much of energy to jump, run and play while firing crackers. it's been a real long time i dint fire crackers. as i took resolution along with some other chuddy buddies not to fire crackers. but i had to break my resolutions. i dint feel bad at all to do so as i had to cheer myself up and to keep up my frns spirits.
WE HAD SOLID GALA TIME. DIWALI WAS A BIG BLAST.
YUHOOO>>>> AM SO HAPPIEEEEEEEEEEEE......
I wish god bless us with such more n more happy moments and happy friendships.

Hope u all had grt diwali.
have a nice time.
lots of love
sans

Value Added Tag

Am just tagging a really touching, worth reading and thought provoking post of a blogger..
She's just awesome. wen i read the blog....i was just fuming out...blood boiled for a moment, thoughts flooded. but after few moments i came to real world, thought for a while and posted a comment on her blog for the same post.
Am a 'big fan' of hers and her blog. :)
Thanks to Ms. Suga.... for giving me permission with a positive attitude, to tag her post on my blog.
Read
Think
Act.

Click----->> 'Here'

choice is now just yours.....

This is one of the most favorite emails that i've been getting regularly and yes everytime i read it and fwd it. this time i thought i shd actually post on my blog so that those who read my blogs,who're not my frns list/adres book can read it.

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.
The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay Day.

i believe in this >>>---------------->>>>

""4 SeasonS""

There're many instances in this season when i felt is it really 'the season' or wot..?
I'm just seeing..starting from last month, present and next month...

1) many of my friends, cousins n other VIPs have got and few others are getting MARRIED....lol
2) many are falling sick.. my sis, frens, teachers, ex-colleagues almost everyone from my gang except the strongest gal..the greatest owner of this blog SANS..\m/
3) many are falling in love...(dont count me here..'a small clarification')
4) many are contributing for the growth of the population tremendously, particularly this season.. oh yeas.. many 'new born babies'...

Am i right or is it only my way of looking the situation...aaah..i really dunno!!
oh! woteva... Am just finding this season very special for me in many ways...new relations, friends, ventures, responsibilities, successes, challenges, memories and so on n on...
hmmmthat's all for now..chalo the c ya again..bubye....
pls take care... :P season is critical...

why me???

Why r u so cool n amuse me
Why r u so close n next to me
why r u everywer n following me
why r u so sweet yet hot to me
why do u play n dance with me
why do u spend time with me
why do u flirt n flatter me
why do u creep n kill me
why do u hug n cover me
why do u spread n poison me
why do u peep n shy me
why do u talk n sedate me
why do u smile n fly me
Why do you kiss n love me
why fight n strengthen me
why stare n shy me
why hang around n leave me
Why come n fascinate me
why so strangely but beautifully me
Why should i see this beautifully annoying damn dream n fool me
why doesn't my dream come true n cheer me???

what i want....?!?!?!?!?!?!

i know what i want.....

1) I want a time machine
2) I want him more and more from him (idealism)
3) I want some more energy (dont talk about food here...)
4) I want a remote control for changing few pessimist minds
5) I want the magic lantern and the genie
6) I want some peace

5 point some1

thinking of Chetan Bhagat?? ....pls dont..u know i dont read novels..oops! sorry small correction.. i dont read books...then no point in talking about chetan bhagats novels n his writings..lol

I'm just here to jot down those 5 points about which am very particular about every morning I wake up...

as soon as i wake up..I..
1. make my bed.

2. Brush my teeth.

3. use the washroom.

4. spend at least 15 minutes gazing at my wardrobe to decide what to wear for the college...most difficult task for any girl.

5. take bath and get lost as soon as possible from my hostel room...(there are several reasons for running away from my room, u can understand na if i say that i have no choice but to share it with some1 who is not of my types... :( .)


out of these 5 except for the 4th i take at max 15 minutes. u know what i'm particular about the 1st one and i also see ppl around me who do and who dont. it's matter of manners and few other things right???
u must be wondering when i must be packing my school bag and all that stuff. I do it before i go to sleep, i know, iknow that i dont get time in the morning and i may forget certain important stuff to dump in my bag if i plan it for the morning time. so i always make sure that i finish my work n pak my bag before going to sleep. I know very well about my morning forgetfullness. lols. do u??
and then rushhhhhhhh n wen i get to bed i'm seriously wondering "OH GAAAWD!! Why the heck are there only 24hrs/day????" yeh dil maange moooore!!seriously n desperately yaar!! so busy am dese days wanted a break so bunked my college for two beautiful lovely days. haah n here am t blog peacefully.
god heard my prayers n gave 3 more holidays. weekend 2 days + monday Ramzaan. bumper bonanza for me.
enjoi madi \m/

award winning thing......

am so excited..u know what..i got quite a good number and memorable prizes since my childhood but never an award. at last someone heard my prayers and recognized my work and awarded me..i mean my mind..yes my child's mind...my inner child's mind...u got it huh??? i'm exactly talking about my lovely..my blog (:P) . yes i received an award from my dearest friend Ro (u can click on this link to read n see more and enjoy as well) who's an extremely amazing blogger and reading her blog is more like knowing this wonderful young lady more and more and looking the life from a different angle.
Thanks ro!...i neva know that my blog has award winning thing...u made my day. love u lots.

Gyan Guru...

My morning started with a call from my lovely lil student of whom I was talking here .
it was happy teachers day instead of a hello. Awesome feeling... and I started off my day saying 'thank you, thank yo so much H....' and he added that i'm calling you first. and i believed it. there lies a lot of happiness in believe it... i now remember the dialogue from a fav movie of mine KUNG FU PANDA where master Oogway says Shifu that 'you have to believe'...(I'l talk about this later). :P

It's such a strange and proud feeling that I experienced last year.. getting calls from my students, family, friends and teachers.
I tried calling many of my teachers this year and could reach to only few of them.
There is something important i wanna say... after joining this BEd in special ed course, I have realized the role of a teacher and how many important roles are played by a teacher just like a mother and a special friend. Before joining the course I only knew the value of a teacher.
I used to hate the teacher profession and i used tell my friends and even write in the slam books that i will do any job except the teacher one. lol at me. WHAT AM I DOING NOW?? ofcourse am not a regular teacher but a special educator and YES it makes a great difference, yet I fall under teacher category:p.... Now after that moving lecture on role of a teacher... i was wondering how many teachers strictly follow the rules and roles of a teacher...WAIT WAIT WAIT!! my primary should be doubt is 'how many teachers are BEd qualified??' right? i never know that doing BEd is so important not just for the sake of the demand @ Sal but also for nurturing a child/student. I'm proud of myself for taking a decision to do BEd( it is a hell) and proud of all my teachers who have taught me lots of stuff and who haven't taught anything as well. my special thanks to those teachers who haven't taught anything in the class....it's because of you i could learn on my own from different sources and learnt exploring.

A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. ~Henry Adams

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!!