Hogenakkal

hmmmmm...

i missed u guys and my blog for quite some (in fact long) time. i was thinking of blogging over the weekends..but the weekends seem to b more hectic n busy than weekdays. well ther is nothing productive/ exciting that i've done for the past many disappointing weekends.

but last weekend..wasn't so. thanks to my best frn sugee and her sis. they've come all the way from hyd to blr for getting an admission into some dental college. but it turned out out to be a very fantastic trip for them and an awesome sunday for me. they have come to blr on saturday....and stayed at their uncles place. and hence saturday accounts for yet anothey unexciting rather a more disappointing day. but by late evening she (sugee) turned up at my place and sans and sugee startd having rocking time together like earlier. we had partied that eveng and on sunday morning woke up early just to make it even more exciting than previous eveng. we had several choices before to us to choose among the places to visit in-and-around blr. we just opted for the first option on the list without even looking at the other options. we just googled abt the place and thanks to google images for we have taken decision immediately and called up for a cab. within halfan hours time we got ready and caught up with sugee's sis and her uncle.

We were heading to HOGENAKKAL FALLS (click on it or this to know more about it) through the highway. throughout the drive, we were awestruck and were admiring the roads. they were just awesome and the cab driver hit the speed 100kmph at times. the colourful flowers n the plants grown on the road dividers were the best part. it was a feast for the eyes. as we entered tamilnadu the climate reminded us that summer is still on in TN. though we had to drive an extra 1hr than we thought of, we dint regret. it was great. we reach hogenakkal to receive a  shock just by seeing the unexpected crowd.

as we entered inside, the sailors over there panicked us. We thought it was a money making trick/ business idea. so refused them n went ahead upon deciding to walk till the water falls. hehehee....to our surprise we came to know that everyone has to take the boats /coracle to reach the waterfalls..at any cost. we dint know whether the prices quoted by the sailors was fair enough or not. we saw ppl around us with same confused faces. we had to decide quickly as sugee n her sis had to catch the bus to hyd by eveng. so we thought of paying the amount demanded and we had no scope to bargain as the crowd was increasing and were lil afraid that if we will b left with no coracles.

It was so thrilling and all exciting, as all of us were sailing for the first time in a coracle. the sailor, at times made the coracle go round and round (just like merry-go-round) adding to our excitement n amusement. the sailor was with us throughout the trip and we had to get down the coracle on n off and cross /climb few hills or plateaus by foot under his able guidance :P ...so he was a guide too. though the rock climbing (after seeing tamilnadu falls we'll have to sail n climb again to see karnataka falls) part was challenging, since the rocks were slippery due to the moist and water all over, we enjoyed it thoroughly.

i felt as if this particular place hogenakkal is one of the god's finest miracles. i tell u y 'coz  on one side the water falls appeared as pure milk..i mean deep white in colour and on the other hand wer this water stood still the same water was crystal clear. also on one hand the water at the falls was making hell lot of sound...the same water when remained still was so calm n deafening silent. wonder how n y?!

what annoyedme was the breath of the sailor...stench of cheap liquor! when enquired it is learnt that all sailors drink to gain energy n stay focussed which was quite contradicting my half knowledge. :P. but he was well-behaved n decent enough. we clicked his pic n promised him to catch him up if if we revisit the place.

well another fantastic moment was when i refused to get down the coracle which was deliberately halted for water play. i was asked to get down atleast for the sake of a click n since it was shallow..i dared to get down. but innocent n poor me...my frns started attacking me n each other with water. the fun was to the core and a truly fantastic feeling. i got drenched completely coz of that n had no clue how i was going to go back home all the way 180km, with those drenched clothes on, n to add to my fear n worry it was getting dark and we had to travel towards blr which means temperature decreases drastically as we near blr. however, others who came prepared for this water play/bath carried extra clothes which were carried back home as it is, as there was no proper place to change. :( poor them.

there was a crocodile park too which we couldnt see as we had to rush back to blr for sugee n her sis had to catch the bus late eveng.

we had our lunner (lunch + dinner) masala dosa at 6:30 pm on our way back home. it was such a good place to visit that we felt bad to leaave it so early n quickly. however i'd revisit this particular place with a proper plan. this is a must watch place for evryone.

i dunno y but on my way back home i felt that there should be some changes made to the popular quote 'we reap what we sow'. i feel 'we definitely reap what we sow' , 'at time we reap something extra for what we deliberately sow' and 'at times we reap what others sow', 'at times others reap what we sow'....all these are purely luck n context dependent.

cya all in the next post.

when life takes an O-turn

Life...takes twists n turns in the form of u-v-w etc....what makes me feel very weird and freak is that 'for me it takes an O-turn very frequently'.
My happiness is not consistent but wat is consistent is confusion about certain things and people are. it's really F.
I just hate it. I'm noticing...these days, on many occasions in my professional life especially while dealing with some critical issues things/situations come back to the starting point even after a detailed and systematic approach. is it fate/ destiny? probably my foot!parents of my students and i often get pissed off, but we mask it 'coz we need to struggle for our kids with perseverance with a smile. But as long as the kids are literally infront of our eyes life is beautiful.
When it comes to personal front..i dont understand how exactly to deal with it. most of the time...(of late) i feel as though i really dont need a personal life. i feel like taking sanyasam and dedicate myself 24*7 for the betterment of my students. Only THEY deserve me.
ppl in my personal front make me feel that neither I nor they deserve each other in our lives, and i dont really find it productive/ even flowering (forget about fruition). i cannot run-away from personal life!!!??? is it? this is actually holy crap.
In my personal life i have hardly 2 friends with whom i can really dare share my happiness. 'coz i dont have to fear that they'll kill my joy. they look forward to listen from me more and more of my happiness. wow! it's a very feel good factor.
but what upsets me is that.. these few friends are miles far away from me. i need to text/mail/ desperately wait for their calls. i'm no position to reach them immediately whenevr i want/ need them. yeah A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED. this Q i chant almost 10times a day at many instances. This doesn't mean that i'm looking for new friends (already f'd up, enuf now). Coming to sorrows/ hardships? It's not really easy to open up to some1 to share the bad/negatives. what iff,  u share ur pains with some1 and that person pokes u back in ur eye n causes more pain? wen in distress it is human tendency to look for a shoulder on whom u can lean ur head n vent out unconditionally. i feel am craving for it. for how long i can mail/msg/call/ long for frns frm abroad/ distant lands? i'm trying to be an independent woman, strong ,bold, courageous, brave and unshaken. but there is something/ someone with strong negative force trying to pull me back n make me feel as a failure.
everytime im growing like a tree and  falling like a seed to fight back. but there is sth that's neither letting me fall nor grow. this what and how i feel off late at many instances.
Life is a bitch when it cames to the starting point after several trials to succeed/ overcome certain difficulties and then try to fool u.
I hate O-turns.

thinkable thoughts n quotable quotes

Few sms's i received from a frnd of mine on frnshp that i keep reading often to wonder how true they are....

a) a frn is 1 who loves u ....not bcoz of what u have, not bcoz of what u have donebut just loves u for what u are.

b) in life u'l realize that der is a purpose 4 every person u meet. some r der2 test u, some will use u, some will teach u and some will bring out the best in u, some may cause u pain but u'll learn to move on. so learn frm d ppl who cant treat u rightenjoy those loved u 2 see ur worth. each 1 is god's design.
(i add to it...some will make beast out of u....)

c) it's difficult to show a truly smiling face 2 d person u hate more . but it's more to difficult to show a truly angry face to the person u love the most....

d) dont miss the one who is ready to miss anything for u

e) dont avoid or miss the person so much who really has true love and affection on u, it'll make u feel bad when u learn that they have learnt to live without u n ur memories.


f) b4 u pray...believe
b4 u criticize....wait
b4 u speak...listen
b4 u spend...earn
b4 u write...think
b4 u quit...try
b4 u die...live

g) forgive what u cannot forget and forget what u cannot forgive...

h) beauty doesn't create love...love creates beauty...break everything for a heart..but never brk a haert for anything.

i) no sound in this world can be more louder than silence. if someone can understand ur silence they can never misunderstand ur words.

j) never hurt or avoid a soul that really loves and likes u upto the core, bcoz if they start leaving u, u'll miss one of the biggest pleasure.

k) when love is unknown to u..u'll know what is happiness. when u know love, u'll know what is pain. when u lose it u'll know what life is.

l) never get too attached to anyone, because attachments leads to expectations and expectations will lead to disappointments.

m) only two persons in the earth will b extremely happy...1 who gets everything in love and the one who doesn't know what love is.

n) the best thing to learn in life is the habit of compromise because it's better to bend a little than to break a loving relationship.

o) if u stand for a reason be prepared to stand alone like a tree. if u fall on the ground, fall like a seed that grows back to fight again.

p) friendship is to forget...love is to forgive
(i add to it...enemy is to remember n revenge....yeah i've seen this some1 doing it to me. gosh! it's so ghostly of 'em. it gave me a thought whethei should give a tit for tat.)

F.R.I.E.N.D.

Last 2 weeks have brought a dramatic and drastic change in my life which was inevitable....just to make me realize the most popular and evergreen saying on FRIENDSHIP.....
1) 'a friened IN NEED is a FRIEND INDEED'.
     it's been practically proven and felt that need very very badly.
     i failed in my life badly to have correct friend! so bitchy! what fate.


Another late eye-opener is....... 'believe in what YOU DO'...
i lately learnt that i shd believe in my students and their parents. becoz i do them...i make them happy. i make them humans....and in return they made me realize that even am a human and not a material. eye openers.
i wanna add to this point sth very imp n precious and sth which is worth sharing.
in few of my earlier posts i mentioned that my students say and take me more as a friend than their teacher. i realized that 'they meant it'. when i was terribly sick and struggling to get well, the parents of my students stood by me, they dint tell me to eat well instead they made me eat well. they dint say take care instead they have taken care of me. till date ie., even after complete recovery they still ensure that am eating in time. what love and effection. when i was in hospital...i told a parent that she was taking care of me like my friend...she told me that for her i'm not like her friend but i'm her friend already. whoa. what practicality. that was the medicine that has cured me. i was craving for a pill of love and tonic of affection. the lonliness disease made me weak and it vanished after realization.
the ones who said they are my frns dint turn up, and the ones who turned up are FRIENDS as if designed n sent by god. they touched my heart.
i have believe in woteva i do till date and even henceforth...both professionally and personally. i did everything with clear consciousness. but the thing is, few results/ consequences were unexpected. they came like weeds in  my beautiful farm of flowers. damn it.

Check my vital signs

........I'm walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up when everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone..........

to tell u, I have never counted the number of times i felt that these lyrics are about me.
How can there be such a co-incidence?huh....unanswered q.
yeah,, am still alive..
all these days i was just with students all around me during the day time. dont ask me about the evenings and night. the above mentioned say it all.
but for the last 5 days, it's not so. I'm amidst of medicines, fruits, 'take-care/ get well soon' calls, love and concern. (yet there are few instances that killed me for falling sick that too weakness. huh...keep them aside.)
on day-1 doc said it's low bp. so i maintained my diet n living habits to bring my bp to normal. even after 3 days same condition continues. i'm pissed off. changed the doc n changed the medication. after 2days, today i feel the same weakness. but second time doc said the bp is normal but the weakness can be due to gastro and asked me to reduce or stop eating spicy food. ahhh! among the readers who know me personally would laugh at it and cal it a 'gone case'. I DO NOT EAT SPICY FOOD at all. :) i understood that the doc is just some1 to be ignored. but am still unable to rule-out the reason behind this extreme weakness. 

however, psychologically i feel better if students are around me. i thought of taking classes from today. but the parents of my students who are sweeter than sugar have asked me to rest and said that they'll bring me food and asked me not to cook. however, i gave them 2 options, if they are so keen to bring me food from 12 kms far then they shd also bring their children for the class or else no student no food. so sweet of them they brought me lunch and breakfast in the first two days and 2 of them took me to doctors on 2 different days. they felt the emergency and responded in time. in a day i get calls from my students all the 3 times just to check if i had food or not. wot else can fill me with joy and happiness. i feel so content about myself and my job. they (students and their parents) are like my friends. when in need, they were with me in-deed.
 
today evening am gonna check with another doc...and i call it my final trial to rule-out the reason behind this f***ingly extreme weakness. symptoms are: blackout, extreme weakness, giddiness, feel as if am gonna faint and sit down on floor, feel as if my nose bleeds but actually it doesn't, headache all over especially more on backside, sometimes wet palm and feet, blackouts while changing position to stand-sit-sleep.
am having adequate sleep, enough fruits and food, ample water for the last 4-5days. even medicines for 2 days. yet there is no improvement. it cannot be sun-stroke for 2 reasons, i haven't been exposed to sun of late and there is no sun in Bangalore, it's been raining. also it's not extreme stress coz i take 2-3 hrs gap in between after lunch. then wtf is it?   

 

i hope from tomorrow i resume my classes and back to normal.
(good news: i wrote the spelling tomorrow without the help of dictionary and spell-check. yeppie i got it. tom/or/row).

infections....

i think my immune system is not working properly. i used to be very strong n always used to feel proud of myself...my health especially. it's not the same. these days am easily getting prone to highly infectious stuff like various habits, musings etc.
the hit list is as follows.
My sis swats always hated cooking and now that she's married she's into a lot of 'cooking with love' (previously cooking with stove :P) for her lovely husband. she's even started a blog on her kitchen experiments. i started admiring how she has changed and out of it came inspiration n even i've started cooking n slowly experimenting. luckily my clinic starts afternoon n hence, i get time to cook leisurely in the mornings, n in the evenings i cook leisurely yet again coz i dont have a television n hence, i have a lot of time. in addition, ive learnt to cook quickly, say in about 40 mins i cook 4 dishes (just for me :P), earlier i used to take solid 2hrs. hehehe...
so this enjoyment while cooking came as an infection to me from my sis.

another strange infection i got is KIRKET...yeah u read it right, it's CRICKET only. this has come to me from my student. to make him study, i tempted him that i'll update him with the score by checking it on the internet, i developed this curiosity to know the score n slowly the intrest. cricket is slowly infecting me as well.

a cousin of my is very good in planning strategically, implementation/ execution, improving the plans/ schemes, business etc. he's steadfast. my friends used to always tell me (few of them have mentioned in slam books as well) that am steadfast and my planning is sooooper. but wen i see my cousin i feel that am nothing  infront of him, and i learn a lot. his speed, planning, dealing, business tactics, etc are infecting me.

there are few other bad habits that have lately started infecting me. shame on me, i knew that they are infecting me yet i kept quiet and enjoyed n then i realized that i did all that just to fool myself. dumb me.

yet another very significant part of this infectious story is that i've started drinking water.....................
(ending this post abruptly for i gottu drink some water... c u in the next post)

clolurs of life

what's your fav colour? do you hate any color? what are positive colors and what are negative colors? what are positive? can we discriminate colors as good and bad as well? if yes then how and why?

these were few questions that went around in my mind on the very day of holi and before and after that. i never shared it with any1, yet i've been observing ppls likings and dislikings towards various colors.i always wonder y black is treated as a negative color by many elders? what mistake/wrong has it done? how can wearing/ carrying a black color to a sacred function/ritual/gathering would effect the happenings? why Hindus prefer Red and Yellow (and some saffron), why Muslims prefer Green and why Christians prefer Whites? How are the influencing ppls minds? Why doctors say green color (earlier) and blue color (now) have curative effects? How are the differences formed?

Once I was observing a child's behaviour and reaction to a particular stimulus, for the same stimulus yet another child responded differently (both have same condition with little variations). Later in the Pychology class I learnt that perceptions vary greatly. and in child psychiatry class I learnt about beliefs.

and now when I recollect above mentioned three instances...what I understand (or rather perceive) is that we believe that colors are different. I think what i perceive a color may be different for others. For example I like pink color and do not like blue color. may be the same color (pink) you see it as blue and think that u like blue and see the other color (blue for me) and think that it's is pink. we both actually like and dislike same colors, name them differently. to simplify it, if we both see a same color and call it commonly as orange (for example) but what we see is different actually..that differences in actual perception causes likings and dislikings. (still sounds complicated, eh??)ok leave it!!

well woteva color be it, i like almost all the colors, and for me i treat all the colors equally, that is no single color can be called as a good/bad. only thing is not all colours suit to all contexts. for me colors are equal to children.some are dark colors and some others are light colors yet all are colors, similarly some children are easy and some are difficult yet all are children. like how few colors look grt in few contexts and some others look horrible but for that we can not cal it as a wrong color. children exel in few ares and find difficult in some other areas and hence for that we can not call them as failures.

when i see ppl discriminating colors which are abstract, i'm afraid, how much discrimination they must be showing towards ppl n children.

there is a close relationship between colors, children and me.......

definitely all are different but treat them equally for what they are n have. accepting is what all that matters.

for me everyday is a holi-day, i play a lot with colors n children. yeah, it's fun.
Hope you had a grt holi on holi day.
c u in the next post! tc!