there is nothing like minding own business...
i heard that it is hardest job...
but for me it's the easiest and coolest job...and to mind others business is very hard and bugging
at work place...i mind my own business and never evn think of others...on other hand..i dont even let any1 to mind my business, in case if any1 dares do that, i c to it they dont ever dare to mind anybody elses business also.
it so happened dat an old lady's been trying to do the same here in my skool with me, i did nothing to make her realize with whom she's messing. i kept quiet all these days, but today she's tested my patience and she sensed it when i still kept quiet. she was fully shaken to c me quiet, she understood dat i'm gonna give it to my higher authories in writing abt her. the way she behaved with me to express how sorry she was..was quite funny. i just ignored her as a part of behaviour modification for her..she was trying to seek my attention. :P
my management also is so very irritating..they just pissed me off.. i'm going thru grt depression n trying hard to come out of it.
there is some kind of visual impairment here with my skool ppl, i believe. they cant see my success stories, they only see how stubborn i'm. they call me stubborn..i call it strictness.
i'm hating my job. god pls c me,,,
my only happiness over here is my student M. HE'S MY BABY. i'm nurture him with grt love n care. he's my pride. till date he's never upset me. the saddest n sickest side of me is...he told me n expressed that he wants to sleep in my room, because he's getting scared in his room and also that he likes my room. a special child communicating and expressing his wants with genuine and clear reasons. he expected me to take him to my room tonight. i'm sick. i cudnt stand up to his expectations. there is a hell lot of procedure to do it, i can do it. but i want to overcome his fear to sleep alone. this i dont know how to tell him. in a way he's inspired to open up n tell the needs clearly. his action has made me speechless today. a boy who only used to say ya/ y/ no/ ok...now talks in sentences dat too with clarity in thought, expression and speech. whose acheivement is it? his/mine/ both?
during dusshera...my mood was out and i did not celebrate..i havent even taken bath that day. if im not happy..it is not festival. if i'm happy that is time to celebrate and its festival for me.
recently there have been few instances apart from my student's performances, that made me happy..yet i failed to celebrate fearing that some1 known/unknown wud kill my joy. i celebrated it thinking it to myself, staying alone, remembering and recollecting all the instances that gave me happiness n made me feel like celebrating.
what am i up2???? at times i dont find answer to this question. sometimes extremely happy and some other times too depressed...but 1 big thing is...emotionally stable. wen happy am not jumping high out of joy n wen depresd am not crying/etc...i'm minding my own business n trying to conquer myself....
random writings
yoga brings me mental peace.
my mind is just like a report of typical ecg...ups and downs
there is nothing like working with children and seeing them learning with joy and remembering, recollecting n applying learnt stuff weneva required...
i got a lot of peace wen i chant 'om' atleast for 20 times...feeling the vibrating vocal chords with the palm is so awesome.
learning happens at each and every moment of our life...some happen with our awareness and some other without...
my laptop has become very old..wanna buy a new compact, slim n sleek one. but dis wil not hapen in near future.
my 1yr 6 months of xpress music nokia mobile is battling with life. slowing it's loosing its efficiency...but neva the spirit..just like it's owner.
managing many accounts, remembering various usernames and passwords needs higher intellect, else forget abt confidentiality and privacy wrt to the user accounts
life is so uncertain. it's very quick wen we're happy and damn slow like my lappy wen we're down with some sorrow or misery.
meet u in my next post, till den tc.
my mind is just like a report of typical ecg...ups and downs
there is nothing like working with children and seeing them learning with joy and remembering, recollecting n applying learnt stuff weneva required...
i got a lot of peace wen i chant 'om' atleast for 20 times...feeling the vibrating vocal chords with the palm is so awesome.
learning happens at each and every moment of our life...some happen with our awareness and some other without...
my laptop has become very old..wanna buy a new compact, slim n sleek one. but dis wil not hapen in near future.
my 1yr 6 months of xpress music nokia mobile is battling with life. slowing it's loosing its efficiency...but neva the spirit..just like it's owner.
managing many accounts, remembering various usernames and passwords needs higher intellect, else forget abt confidentiality and privacy wrt to the user accounts
life is so uncertain. it's very quick wen we're happy and damn slow like my lappy wen we're down with some sorrow or misery.
meet u in my next post, till den tc.
i want to pass it on...........
It only takes a spark to get a fire going.
And soon all those around, can warm up in glowing.
That's how it is with God's love,
Once you've experienced it, you spread His love to everyone;
You want to pass it on.
What a wondrous time is spring, when all the trees are budding;
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming.
That's how it is with God's love;
Once you've experienced it, you want to sing
"It's fresh like spring"; you want to pass it on.
And soon all those around, can warm up in glowing.
That's how it is with God's love,
Once you've experienced it, you spread His love to everyone;
You want to pass it on.
What a wondrous time is spring, when all the trees are budding;
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming.
That's how it is with God's love;
Once you've experienced it, you want to sing
"It's fresh like spring"; you want to pass it on.
memoirs n me
how things change and how ppl change...
change is good it seems. yeah there are so many changes in my close friends, i'm observing and happy for them.
1) my friend T has gone to Arunachal Pradesh for job, in the month of August. In the month of Jan he's gone to Delhi for job. it was a big thing for him n his family. they never lived so far from each other. he went there hoping that another friend V is also there, so he'll b able to help him in coping up and slowly he'll adjust to the new home n work environment. in just a month he came back home. he couldnt adjust. work place, work load, home, food and climate everything was so very horrible and it's really good that he came back. he has lost a lot of weight.Now c, the climate, food, ppl, language, culture wot not everything abt life is different and new for him over der in arunachal pradesh. But he has learnt to adjust. we dont know wot difficulties he's facing, he's still surviving. He's FIT. he has changed alot. it's good.
i only wish god bless him and gets transfred to a better place soon, so that he's lil relieved n live in peace.
2) another friend V was very famous and well known in my gang, for his time sense. He used to b late atleast by 3hrs for every meeting/ work. he has tested all our patience. we used to tell him that he should have time sense and all that. never he took it seriously and used to dust off. He's also gone to Delhi in the month of Dec (2009). Now he's in blr. we meet on weekends. and to my surprise, he's become so punctual and his timing my god. that's very very big change in him. he's also learnt few things, which i dont want to mention here,,, are all making me so happy. happy is the child (i)n me. the change in him is so good. hope he maintains it.
3) Sugee, my sweet heart, my only gf...i dont know how she's surviving without me at hyd. i felt so sick of me, wen i left my sis swats and sugee in hyd and went to blr. i was literally crying from inside to leave them n go. sugee n i are very close and share alot (not evrything). we used to keep things in mind n used to talk n share a lot wen we meet, sometimes we used to sleep at around 4 or 5am. sometimes i used to fall asleep and sometimes she, while talking, n we'd to wake up by 7am or so to get bak to work. it was tough yet so sweet. i miss it terribly. life was in proper form wen we have such frns and instances. It's been ages, we haven't seen ach other. although v r in touch with each other, i know that she's unable to share few critical things with me, i can sense it. yet she's managing, without telling me. my baby she is. i only wish i get time to spend one full day with her wen i go to hyd, later in this week.
4) another big change in sans (me) is that i've become lil more matured, learning to balance situations, myself n my emotions. its a big thing for me. i dont know whether am dusting off certain disappointing things/ppl/ wot, but am neither locking myself in the washroom nor am i crying. last month der was sth really very bad hapend n so icried badly. i cudnt control, on top more n more frustrating things were over loading, i was unable to express, hence i cried. i only pray god that i dnt get such days anymore. self appraisal is bad, but it is a certainly reinforcer at times. i must say that der is no other gal like me n shdnt be. shdnt be..coz it is very very difficult to bear the pain. nobody else shd get it. of late i've learnt a lot of mangement skills and i dint know dat i can do such things. i feel good. i like it. i only hope that i develop more n more.
TO SEE BEAUTY IN THINGS IS A GIFT, HOPE V ALL GET IT SOON.
change is good it seems. yeah there are so many changes in my close friends, i'm observing and happy for them.
1) my friend T has gone to Arunachal Pradesh for job, in the month of August. In the month of Jan he's gone to Delhi for job. it was a big thing for him n his family. they never lived so far from each other. he went there hoping that another friend V is also there, so he'll b able to help him in coping up and slowly he'll adjust to the new home n work environment. in just a month he came back home. he couldnt adjust. work place, work load, home, food and climate everything was so very horrible and it's really good that he came back. he has lost a lot of weight.Now c, the climate, food, ppl, language, culture wot not everything abt life is different and new for him over der in arunachal pradesh. But he has learnt to adjust. we dont know wot difficulties he's facing, he's still surviving. He's FIT. he has changed alot. it's good.
i only wish god bless him and gets transfred to a better place soon, so that he's lil relieved n live in peace.
2) another friend V was very famous and well known in my gang, for his time sense. He used to b late atleast by 3hrs for every meeting/ work. he has tested all our patience. we used to tell him that he should have time sense and all that. never he took it seriously and used to dust off. He's also gone to Delhi in the month of Dec (2009). Now he's in blr. we meet on weekends. and to my surprise, he's become so punctual and his timing my god. that's very very big change in him. he's also learnt few things, which i dont want to mention here,,, are all making me so happy. happy is the child (i)n me. the change in him is so good. hope he maintains it.
3) Sugee, my sweet heart, my only gf...i dont know how she's surviving without me at hyd. i felt so sick of me, wen i left my sis swats and sugee in hyd and went to blr. i was literally crying from inside to leave them n go. sugee n i are very close and share alot (not evrything). we used to keep things in mind n used to talk n share a lot wen we meet, sometimes we used to sleep at around 4 or 5am. sometimes i used to fall asleep and sometimes she, while talking, n we'd to wake up by 7am or so to get bak to work. it was tough yet so sweet. i miss it terribly. life was in proper form wen we have such frns and instances. It's been ages, we haven't seen ach other. although v r in touch with each other, i know that she's unable to share few critical things with me, i can sense it. yet she's managing, without telling me. my baby she is. i only wish i get time to spend one full day with her wen i go to hyd, later in this week.
4) another big change in sans (me) is that i've become lil more matured, learning to balance situations, myself n my emotions. its a big thing for me. i dont know whether am dusting off certain disappointing things/ppl/ wot, but am neither locking myself in the washroom nor am i crying. last month der was sth really very bad hapend n so icried badly. i cudnt control, on top more n more frustrating things were over loading, i was unable to express, hence i cried. i only pray god that i dnt get such days anymore. self appraisal is bad, but it is a certainly reinforcer at times. i must say that der is no other gal like me n shdnt be. shdnt be..coz it is very very difficult to bear the pain. nobody else shd get it. of late i've learnt a lot of mangement skills and i dint know dat i can do such things. i feel good. i like it. i only hope that i develop more n more.
TO SEE BEAUTY IN THINGS IS A GIFT, HOPE V ALL GET IT SOON.
The F Machines
I'm writing this post in a really very very frustrated and agitated mood. i'm angry. when in angry we shouldn't take any decisions it seems. my foot.
am hating all men. men are all so disgusting. men make women happy. more than happy, they disappoint.
men are selfish and not really transparent. they say that they are clear about what they are doing, but actually aren't. they want to play a safe game all the time,,,no matter what pain women gets out of that. so selfish haan?
i'm writing this kinda post for the first time. ppl will try to comment, i'm blocking it, yet they try to send anonymous comments thru some how, coz they cant take truths and facts wen told publicly like this.
Men are machines. they are mechanical and robots. they are F machines. they F women, children, older ppl...physically, mentally and emotionally. they dont have hearts. they only use their minds and hence are insensitive. they dont know what is meant by being empathetic. they cant understand a women. men sometimes understand so badly that the reaction will be quite opposite to our expectations.
y are men like this? they disturb us so badly and say that we r sensitive n v have to b strong. how long a woman has to compromise and sacrifice? women are (still) in vulnerable state?
am hating all men. men are all so disgusting. men make women happy. more than happy, they disappoint.
men are selfish and not really transparent. they say that they are clear about what they are doing, but actually aren't. they want to play a safe game all the time,,,no matter what pain women gets out of that. so selfish haan?
i'm writing this kinda post for the first time. ppl will try to comment, i'm blocking it, yet they try to send anonymous comments thru some how, coz they cant take truths and facts wen told publicly like this.
Men are machines. they are mechanical and robots. they are F machines. they F women, children, older ppl...physically, mentally and emotionally. they dont have hearts. they only use their minds and hence are insensitive. they dont know what is meant by being empathetic. they cant understand a women. men sometimes understand so badly that the reaction will be quite opposite to our expectations.
y are men like this? they disturb us so badly and say that we r sensitive n v have to b strong. how long a woman has to compromise and sacrifice? women are (still) in vulnerable state?
there's a storm in my head
it's dusshera vacation. 7th-17th holidays for skool (solid 11 days), yuppieeeeee
it's so good that i got 10days of time...i have plans of my own...
i desperately wana go to vizag. i wana spend time with those kids (atleast few hours) at shanti ashram. dont i deserve it...? or dont dey deserve my presence? wot is it? am not getting a chance to c them. earlier i dint have time to go, now i have time but no chance. i'm struck with some unexplainable commitments, i hate it.
am home, doing absolutely nothing.am only wasting time. am i resting? no am not resting, i dont need rest, i took rest yesterday. i wana go, but i cant. then wot the heck am i doing over here, sitting idle at home?
my plans of doing a workshop are in progress, ppl want me der, my presence is deir confidence. but look at the beauty...am idling at home. i wana go but cant. i cant.huh. so very disgusting.
in another day or two i'll be leaving to my sister at hyd. she'll be going to ofice, again i'll be idling der. body present mind absent. my mind, heart, soul are in vizag. every movement of mine tells me n reminds me of the kids, whom i'm missing terribly.
there's a storm in my head. i haven't seen dem for ages. der are very few ppl in the lives of those kids who think of them like this, and dose kids wait for them. making them wait for so long is not at all fair on my part. i'll be surely cursed by the god for disappointing those kids.
god save me n those kids..
it's so good that i got 10days of time...i have plans of my own...
i desperately wana go to vizag. i wana spend time with those kids (atleast few hours) at shanti ashram. dont i deserve it...? or dont dey deserve my presence? wot is it? am not getting a chance to c them. earlier i dint have time to go, now i have time but no chance. i'm struck with some unexplainable commitments, i hate it.
am home, doing absolutely nothing.am only wasting time. am i resting? no am not resting, i dont need rest, i took rest yesterday. i wana go, but i cant. then wot the heck am i doing over here, sitting idle at home?
my plans of doing a workshop are in progress, ppl want me der, my presence is deir confidence. but look at the beauty...am idling at home. i wana go but cant. i cant.huh. so very disgusting.
in another day or two i'll be leaving to my sister at hyd. she'll be going to ofice, again i'll be idling der. body present mind absent. my mind, heart, soul are in vizag. every movement of mine tells me n reminds me of the kids, whom i'm missing terribly.
there's a storm in my head. i haven't seen dem for ages. der are very few ppl in the lives of those kids who think of them like this, and dose kids wait for them. making them wait for so long is not at all fair on my part. i'll be surely cursed by the god for disappointing those kids.
god save me n those kids..
who is it?
1) who has taken my last 3 months?
i can see the results of my efforts, success stories, yet there is something / some1 terribly missing. who is it?
2) someone is touching my heart every now n then. most of my goals are accomplished without much efforts/ brainstorming. some1 must be getting help from somebody else. who is it?
3) he is awesome n he's my baby. he makes the child (i)n me happy. i wonder why and who is it?
4) i'm feeling as if some1 is guarding n nurturing me. who is it?
5) I listen to the morning school prayer, n feel the infinite pleasure, courage, spirit and motivation. the writer of the prayer is awesome. this prayer song makes me truly feel the love of god. who is he?
6) at times i get confused and mess things up because of some invisible person..who is it?
i can see the results of my efforts, success stories, yet there is something / some1 terribly missing. who is it?
2) someone is touching my heart every now n then. most of my goals are accomplished without much efforts/ brainstorming. some1 must be getting help from somebody else. who is it?
3) he is awesome n he's my baby. he makes the child (i)n me happy. i wonder why and who is it?
4) i'm feeling as if some1 is guarding n nurturing me. who is it?
5) I listen to the morning school prayer, n feel the infinite pleasure, courage, spirit and motivation. the writer of the prayer is awesome. this prayer song makes me truly feel the love of god. who is he?
6) at times i get confused and mess things up because of some invisible person..who is it?
