there's a storm in my head

it's dusshera vacation. 7th-17th holidays for skool (solid 11 days), yuppieeeeee
it's so good that i got 10days of time...i have plans of my own...
i desperately wana go to vizag. i wana spend time with those kids (atleast few hours) at shanti ashram. dont i deserve it...? or dont dey deserve my presence? wot is it? am not getting a chance to c them. earlier i dint have time to go, now i have time but no chance. i'm struck with some unexplainable commitments, i hate it.
am home, doing absolutely nothing.am only wasting time. am i resting? no am not resting, i dont need rest, i took rest yesterday. i wana go, but i cant. then wot the heck am i doing over here, sitting idle at home?
my plans of doing a workshop are in progress, ppl want me der, my presence is deir confidence. but look at the beauty...am idling at home. i wana go but cant. i cant.huh. so very disgusting.
in another day or two i'll be leaving to my sister at hyd. she'll be going to ofice, again i'll be idling der. body present mind absent. my mind, heart, soul are in vizag. every movement of mine tells me n reminds me of the kids, whom i'm missing terribly.
there's a storm in my head. i haven't seen dem for ages. der are very few ppl in the lives of those kids who think of them like this, and dose kids wait for them. making them wait for so long is not at all fair on my part. i'll be surely cursed by the god for disappointing those kids.
god save me n those kids..