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most disgusting, wrongly quoted, completely annoying statement often used as a fancy starter/header for many articles in news papers/journals/bulletins etc .
tell me is it just because that adults are rich in vocab and can make fancy quotes n statements (that are mostly paradox) or is it just that children cannot make such statements?
If I'm asked to make statements....in contrast to the above one..i'l b more than happy for this long awaited opportunity.
(okay!..now that no1 has asked..I'm taking the opportunity).
Most of the parents whoever come to me say that 'parenting a child is difficult and parenting a difficult child is impossible'. excuse me...can u or anyone define who a difficult child is?
It is bad to jump into conclusion that a child is difficult. We find it difficult to understand parenting..but it is never that parenting a difficult child is impossible/ challenge.
No child is difficult. It is we who find the difficulty because we have narrowed our mind and thoughts. We have to be open minded, open in the the ways of mind, thoughts and in understanding the child and ways n means to handle it. we have to be open by accepting the child as it is
children are cute and gifts of/for our own deeds(be positive), we have to enjoy every bit of it...
At times we feel that particular behaviors of a child is not acceptable. think y it is not acceptable. who said it is not n for what reasons. also think from the child's point of view why is the child behaving so. why is child unable to behave the way u'll accept.
with lots of scoldings, emotional dramas, fighting, punishment, struggle, training, counseling/ wotsoever..the child will one/ the other day behaves the way u wanted (so called acceptable bhvr). see..u dint let the child live the way he wanted..u made him live the way u wanted. it means u lived his life. but then we claim that we have sacrificed a lot for kids...but in reality who is sacrificing? the kid..he cant raise his voice, tell how he feels like to anyone, so he'll keep quite or hardly cry for sometime. but ultimately the child will listen to u. u won over the child. it is bad.
this is what is happening with everyone. I'm not taking about the kids n parents of just the present day but of the yester years as well. the kids of yester years are the adults/parents of today and tomorrow. life has to changed.
we have to change at first place. we have to accept our negavites and positives as well. if i have ego problem..i accept it. if i throw attitudes i accept n i apologise if some1 is hurt. but if adults throw attitudes and show ego i donot expect them to apologise. instead i accept them by keeping quiet.
we have to accept..ourselves, others and the environment around us. the more narrow we make our mind...and thoughts..the less place we will be left to live.
there is life in being peaceful. the peace is with in us. it is called as 'manassanthi'--manas is with in us. we have to find peace(santhi) within us and keep it up. nobody should make/ break it. once we get that peace of mind.... we will learn to accept ppl and slowly ppl will accept us.
same applies in dealing the kids. we have to be calm. we have to understand why are particular behaviors we are unable to accept. why is the chld gettig into that behavior. talk to the child. donot assume. donot do guess. talk to the child. donot shout/ scream. child would never ever open up. u have to respect the child. who likes to be screamed at? then how can a child accept your screams. since u haven't accepted the child the child will not accept you. simple.
so my point is when parents say/ talk about 'parenting a difficult child'
guess wot the child must be thinking of saying......it'll be other-way round...
'childing a difficult parent (who never understands and always lives my life and claims that we have sacrificed a lot for u)'
as parents we should not say that we have sacrificed a lot.... we have to sacrifice everything for kids.
just think and act accordingly.
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PS: I may not be a parent/ i may not have given birth to kids but i feel it when i train kids.
Also note: frustrations are directly proportional to our 'expectations'
1 comments:
Sans,
What you say is absolutely right. We are the ones who do not understand needs of a child and then crib that he or she is being difficult. I too had written a post on this topic some time ago. It is always best to reason out your asking a child to do something your way. As the child grows it is needed that we are more of friends than dictators. We need to instill confidence in child be share with us whatever be it. I am sure your children will grow with all round development.
Take care
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