What happens to me everytime when my results are out...?

From my observation what I noticed is wheneva the results of the academic exams are out..
I seriously jump into resolutions....some such 'never followed resolutions' are as follows..
1)I draw a very well organised timetable(a 24hrs one)...that includes 15-18hrs schedule,exclusively for studytime.
2)I swear that I'll neva again freak with friends and say no to movies, say no to hang outs, say no to beach road, say no to long drives etc.
3)I jump into conclusions that am absolutely fit for nothing and I should stop studies and sit at home, thinking that am unnecessarily wasting my dads money.
4)I try to cut short my telephone gossipping hours(thats a biggest joke).
5)That I should start utilising the valuble resourses like central library, faculty, internet etc for proper guidance.
6)One very important i get in my mind is that I should eats lots and lots of fruits to be very active and healthy..lols...(I neva did it intentionally. ask me y?? 'coz of fear that I may become overactive or hyperexcited ).
7)lLast but not the least. JOKE of life. I STRONGLY TAKE AN OATH THAT I SHOULD RESTART PRACTISING YOGA AND MEDITATION TO ENHANCE MY CONCENTRATION N MEMORY LEVELS.
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Thats not the end of the story ....
Believe me guys inspite of the knowledge that, all the above mentioned impossiblities are neva done by me I just jot them all down on a piece of paper n stick it on the wall opposite to my bed.
The question here is.. why do I stick the paper just opposite to my bed??
The answer is ....to have a happy and a very goodmorning (when I wake up at 10:30am, while my college is scheduled to be at 10:00am). I simply without any pain and with great smile, everlasting attitude, everloved spirit grab the paper from the wall tear it into pieces and I take extreme care that every bit of the paper goes in to the dustbin... if not..I feel bad that the relatives of the rest of the bits may feel bad n miss the lost ones terribly...
One intresting thing I do is I ring to all my best friends including my dad and tell them all the above listed jokes just to create bugaboo in them. lol.

What do you guys do???post the funniest or craziest acts you do...