i've realized this long back n experienced it lately.
u know wot happened.....
I was holding my anger n frustration for a longtime, kept my cool n tried hard to be simple...it was very complicated.
I lost my temper in just a second...i made things very complicated so easily. it was very simple.
I want to have peaceful relations n conversations, it is simple theoretically, practically it is very very complicated, yet I made t possible. consequences are peaceful. am mentally happy.
At times, I try to be very harsh n strict, it is very complicated, practically it is difficult, yet i made it possible. consequences are so disgusting. am mentally agitated.
My work is so complicated, involved with risk. yet i make it simple n possible. but somewer in the corners of my brain n heart it pains me badly,,,there is pressure from inside n out.
i wanna
learn kick boxing/ dance/ swimming...to exhaust my energy...
to lie down on the floor like a dead body for a long time....to be off from the world,
to run run run.....tun away from all those who n what are following me and sucking my energy n spirit off...
to bang and break things and show my heights of frustration n anger...
i wanna do all the above ________ things because wen i'm simple n wen i'm being myself, ppl misunderstand me n piss me off. i just hate it and hate them and hate myself.
i wanna see my future in some magic tv/ sth n know my life is gonna b always like dis or wot, n to c if some ppl change or not, to see wot is going to happen.
am i losing patience? or i've just lost some energy/ my spirit completely vanished? wot the F is happening?
is life really a
